Chinese food and grass.

It is 12 degrees in Wisconsin. There is still snow on the ground from the blizzard that occurred before Christmas. In some places, as much as a foot and a half of snow still sits as though it arrived yesterday. I can’t see any grass, and while that would normally never matter to me (I love snow!!), it matters to my dog, Manny.

Manny is a fawn colored, hazel eyed, 12lb, min-pin. The most common comment I get.. “He looks like a baby deer!!”. He does. And during Christmas, he seemed to look like a tiny baby reindeer. My mother wanted me to paint his nose red…..I hid all the lipstick in the house.

Manny is a very loyal puppy (I say puppy because he is only a year old, and well…acts like a 2 year old most days). He loves his chewies, cranberries, carrots, and his two favorite toys…Sid the Monkey, and his baby chicken. Let me clear this up, his chicken is not a baby, it is really a grown rooster, but Manny has adopted it as his bab

y.
The thing is hideous, and it makes a horrible squeaking noise that sounds like crying. When Manny was first given the toy, my aunt squeezed it to show him the absolutely JOY it could bring him. So what does he do? He cries. Manny stood there, hiding in a corner, crying. Every time you squeaked it, he cried. Finally, the poor puppy walked over to the chicken/rooster and started to lick it’s face. He cradled it in between his paws, sat down, and licked it while snuggling. We realized then that he thought it was alive, and that he must be its protector….for everyone else seemed to be abusing it to the point of eliciting horrible squeals of terror.

He is a sensitive dog. His feelings get hurt, he gets depressed when he is on steroids, and he looks around for my father (Pop Pop) whenever he is missing. He loves his Pop Pop, perhaps because he is the only other male in the house, or perhaps because my father is the Alpha. Either way, they have formed a bond…once in a while you can find them on the same sofa with Manny curled up against him.

A common moment between Manny and Pop Pop – Sorry for the blur, I was taking it in secret

This is rare. Manny doesn’t like people all that much. He isn’t vicious, mean, or angry. Manny is scared. Humans didn’t treat him so well when he was a baby, and when I got him he was 4 months old, 2lbs, ribs showing, and had giardia. I won’t tell you what that means….but it was disgusting and my house in PA looked like a murder had occurred.

Anyhow, he is all better physically, but emotionally, he has difficulty with new people. It took him a good month to warm up to my family, but I swear he is so much happier about life now that he has 3 new friends. He is excited to wake up in the morning, and so pleased when there are people to greet him!

A week after I arrived in Wisconsin Manny and I were taking a nap in my new room. No one else was home, so we were peacefully slumbering under the large down comforter. Manny was making little “murr murr” noises, as he does when he is having a wonderful dream of what I can only imagine is sitting in a pool of chewies while Pop Pop scratches his belly. Anyway…. we’re sleeping. Peacefully. And then I hear the faint sound of the doorbell. Now, this house is new to me, so I’m not entirely sure it’s a doorbell. So I lay there for a moment. .. Again, I hear the same noise, and am now convince it is a doorbell because Manny is up and yelling at my bedroom door.

Out I go… into the hallway…this person is insistent, ring ring riiiiiiing riin gggg rin rin rinnng… So by the time I’m about to round the corner to the front door, I’m frustrated at this person’s insistence, and worried something had happened….and, remember, half awake. So what do I see when I get to the foyer?

The door open, and a Chinese man standing inside the house. Standing IN THE HOUSE. I don’t think I screamed. Maybe I did. I don’t remember. Manny was barking at him, and then, sensing my fear,….well, Manny went to hide behind the coffee table (just for a second while I assessed the situation).

“This your food”

“NO.” – I didn’t move

“No, this your food. This 1120!”

“I didn’t order any, this isn’t 1120” – I’m still standing about 10 feet from him.

“Yes, 1120, you look here, 1120!”

I walked over to glance at the number on what appeared to be a large bag of Chinese Food.

“No, I didn’t order any, and this is 1125, please go. Now”

He shook his head, walked out of my house, didn’t even close the door behind him.

Yup, I was shaking like a leaf. Manny was shaking, and then puked. Poor puppy.

Now, I know Wisconsin is a very pleasant state, people are very friendly, helpful, super sweet….but I didn’t know they would just walk into your home when you didn’t answer the doorbell fast enough!

Well, I did what any single woman would do. I ran into my room with my dog, locked the door and sat on the bed until someone else came home (seriously, what did I do for the 10 years I lived alone? or semi alone, I did have great roommates at one point…).

My parents came home, I told them the story, they proceeded to stare at me in horror and well, laughed. Apparently this ISN’T normal behavior around here, No, we didn’t order Chinese food, and YES, I can keep the front door locked.

The jokes about the Chinese Food delivery man have continued over the past few weeks. I have a feeling they have a good few months worth of material on this one.

What would you have done?! In hindsight, I should have screamed at him to get out of the house, but I’m the new one in the town… I don’t know the etiquette. I don’t want to offend anyone.

Ugh. What did I start this about?

Oh yea, Manny and the grass. Okay, well, no grass=confustion on where to go to the bathroom. Confusion=accidents. Accidents=”Manny if you poop on my floor one more time I’m going to throw you out the window!!” Ooh, we’re just kidding. 5 minutes later we feel bad for him.

But really, the snow needs to melt sometime, right?

I still check to make sure the front door is locked before I go to sleep.